Think pretensiously, act locally.

So I came to a hazy conclusion today; Hipsters are single handedly keeping kids off the streets, and they don't even know they're doing it...

...It is as easy as going out and shopping for clothes (which we all know isn't too hard for the "terminally hip.")

Think of all the Goodwill's across the country seeing an upsurge of bearded socialites and heroin chic fashionistas stalking the racks for their barhopping ensembles. The catch, unbeknownest to them, is that a large proceed of their purchases goes towards the employment training of many a thousand disadvantaged men and women.

Next time you see a panhandler taken off the streets and made into a model citizen you have a scenesters to thank.
Think of all the gingerly torn mom jeans bought.
All the granny babushka's made into neck scarves.
All the fanny packs starving to be the next big trend.
Remember all those blood drive t-shirts and kids soccer jersey's you dontated?
They now have PBR stains on them and smell like American Spirits.

Tip of the hat to the guy who makes my coffee and the girl who does whatever it is that female hipsters do these days. (is it photography?...i seriously have no clue.)

Now lets work on picking up your beer cans and cutting that hair!